There are moments that form like pieces of puzzle our understanding of the word Love. Some people happen to feel selfless deep-hearted love, some are only capable of addiction to something. The ability to love is a talent given not to everyone, considers our columnist director of AVRORACLINIC Liana Davidyan.
There was a time in my life when I lived in suburban area. That wasn’t much convenient. I drove minimum one hundred fifty kilometres daily. I could stay in the city but even when I got free of business around eleven at night I took the wheel and went home. My parents were always waiting for me there, at home, no matter how late I’d be, they were waiting.
Once I was driving my car not that late and I caught up with my dad driving his car, so we went on our way following one another. On the last part of our way my father started to overtake a long vehicle but as it often happens some truck drivers don’t like to give way. That guy was the type. He speeded up and made my dad go to the opposite lane actually putting him into a dangerous emergency position. Dad taxied out miraculously and I lived through a kaleidoscope of emotions and the final one of them was anger. I was ready to tear that driver into pieces and even half-consciously tried to follow him and prune his car. Fortunately, mind won. We reached home safe and sound. Dad joked about the incident that took place. We laughed together with him. And I thought to myself that at that moment I was ready to give myself away just to keep out of trouble the one I love.
Frankly speaking I don’t understand love that is not about self sacrificing. Of course in real life love shows itself from its many different sides, faces and shades, so that we can fall down into illusion that all of our life is love. I often say it too. But hand on heart, I can’t say that love giving and love taking are the same. True love is accepting, being ready to take responsibility of the other person’s life. It’s perfect when it’s mutual. But it is so very seldom.
In real life manifestations of love form the invisible and not logical hierarchy. Interest, counting, sympathy, excitement, habit, passion, fear, addiction, dominance, absorption, dissolution, faith. I have a story of my own or of others’ about every side of love above. Each of them is a humble step to a cognition of the ability of the human soul. May be all of those manifestations of love is something like training, try-out. Even if you aren’t a part of it. Since my childhood I observed many different relationships they called love. Part of them was surrogate, the other part – sincere. For me these observations formed an inside money-box and taught to feel lie thin enough. And never blame it.
False love is like a fake note in a melody and it doesn’t come from the evil intent, it comes from the inability to play clearly, skillfully, out of the talent. Musical abilities and ability to love are naturally and genetically born. The way a man uses his natural born talent depends on so many variables, fancy events and different people met on his way, that it is a miracle that people even manage to keep and multiply this talent. It is possible that the energy of love is so powerful that it can break through the iron block of chagrin pain, disappointment, betrayal and indifference layering.
But maybe on the contrary, it is not desperately breaking through but selflessly defending from all of these misfortunes? I got no answer for this question. Love was before us and will stay on.
