It begins with a constriction in your chest, akin to a coiled spring poised to unravel. Your heartbeat accelerates, its cadence becoming a persistent, resounding thrum in your ears. Heat radiates across your entire body, igniting a flush that feels almost volcanic. Muscles tighten, each fiber bracing for action. Your breath becomes rapid and shallow, priming your body for a confrontation that may never materialize. An electric surge courses through you, demanding release. Your mind sharpens into a singular focus on whatever has triggered this internal tempest.
Anger—an emotion that commands attention yet is often deemed ‘bad’ or ‘shameful’, particularly for women and children. Societal stigmas surrounding anger can lead individuals to fear judgment for expressing it. People often feel ashamed or uncomfortable when they experience anger, prompting them to suppress or dismiss it. However, in therapy, addressing and expressing deep-seated anger and rage is crucial to the healing process. Recognizing and integrating this emotion into one’s self-concept is essential for personal growth.
‘Anger serves as a vital emotional checkpoint in the healing journey,’ explained Dr. Alexandre Machado, a clinical neuropsychologist at Medcare Camali Clinic in the UAE. ‘It can signal feelings of powerlessness, injustice, betrayal, or unmet needs. Anger underscores boundaries that have been breached and motivates individuals to confront unresolved issues.’ Exploring anger can empower individuals to seek change and assert their rights, thus fostering personal empowerment.
For a woman who has lived in Dubai for the past three years and spoke on condition of anonymity, acknowledging her anger was pivotal to her well-being journey. She grew up in a household where emotions were frequently ignored or dismissed. As she matured, she began experiencing anxiety and depression, feeling disconnected from others. Turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms to manage her pain only exacerbated her struggles. When she finally sought therapy, she was ashamed of the rage she felt while exploring her past.
‘I recall one session where I was discussing some traumatic experiences, and suddenly, I was consumed by fury,’ she said. ‘The anger was intense, and it took me by surprise. In that moment, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.’ She viewed anger as something negative, feeling ashamed for getting angry, as if she were regressing or becoming ‘too emotional.’ She believed that anger would only keep her trapped in her pain. However, her therapist, Dr. Bushra Khan, a transformational coach at Wellth in Dubai, helped her see that anger wasn’t the issue—it was how she dealt with it that mattered.
Dr. Khan worked with her to explore anger as a tool for healing. ‘Anger may surface during therapy when individuals start processing trauma or deep-rooted feelings. It’s a response to the realization of how much you’ve endured. It may also arise when you begin to reclaim your voice and your right to be heard and respected.’ Allowing repressed feelings of anger to emerge, even in a safe, non-judgmental environment like therapy, can be overwhelming. But it’s part of the process of becoming more self-aware and confronting long-avoided issues.
Dr. Khan notes that feelings of anger can indicate that someone is truly delving into their emotions. It signifies that the person is ready to confront difficult truths about themselves and their past. ‘Instead of seeing it as a roadblock, it should be viewed as a breakthrough—an indication that healing is occurring, and that the person is progressing towards a greater self.’ However, not all anger is constructive.
Dr. Machado distinguishes between healthy anger—which drives positive change, respects oneself and others, and leads to constructive problem-solving—and destructive anger, which manifests as aggression or seeks blame and control. Healthy anger fosters growth, while destructive anger leaves you feeling out of control, trapped in a cycle of resentment or rage, and creates more problems. ‘To discern the difference, individuals can evaluate the outcomes of their anger: does it lead to resolution or does it result in conflict and distress?’ he said.
He further explained that confronting and processing anger in all its forms can yield significant long-term benefits, including better emotional regulation, improved communication skills, and healthier relationships. Individuals who learn to channel anger productively often experience greater self-awareness, resilience, and a stronger sense of identity. Instead of harboring inflamed resentments, individuals can achieve a sense of closure and acquire the skills to face future challenges more effectively.
Clinicians often employ Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which emphasizes embracing emotions rather than avoiding them, to recognize and process emotions like anger. Additional approaches such as Emotion-Focused Therapy and Gestalt Therapy position anger as a transformative emotion that can help individuals reclaim power, set boundaries, and address unresolved issues, ultimately facilitating healing.
‘Feeling overwhelmed by anger during therapy is a common experience, and it’s important to remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this way,’ Dr. Khan said. ‘It’s a sign that you’re beginning to process emotions that were hidden or repressed, and it doesn’t mean you’re ‘failing’—it’s part of the work.’ After embracing her anger in the healing process, Dr. Khan’s patient said she’s in a much better place.
‘I never imagined I’d be able to discuss my anger without feeling guilty or ashamed. Therapy has shown me that anger is just another emotion that, when understood and expressed healthily, can help me live a fuller, more authentic life,’ she said. ‘I’ve learned to regulate my emotions and express anger when it’s appropriate, without letting it overwhelm me. Anger has become part of my healing, and I’ve come to appreciate it as a catalyst for growth rather than a barrier to it.’
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