The confirmation of Thomas Tuchel's appointment as head coach of the England national team by the Football Association has elicited a range of reactions, ranging from measured to utterly deranged. Opinion appears to be split into three main camps: those who believe he is the best available candidate and are not particularly concerned about his nationality; those who prefer an Englishman in charge, unless it's Pep Guardiola; and those who are driven to madness by the decision to hire a German, as evidenced by headlines and editorials decrying it as 'A DARK DAY FOR ENGLAND'.
The subtext, and much of the actual text, in these commentaries suggests that despite the passage of almost 80 years since the end of World War II, Germans should still be 'under observation' and certainly not in charge of the national football team. The FA's decision to appoint Tuchel is seen by some as selling England's proud heritage to a nation of humorless, efficient, garden gnome-loving, bratwurst-eating, Lederhosen-wearing sunbed enthusiasts, who might replace the unpopular England band with an upbeat oompah band.
The argument that international tournaments should feature 'the best of theirs' against 'the best of ours' and that teams should be coached by native men or women has some merit. This viewpoint was expressed by various broadcast pundits, though their arguments ranged from witless to intelligent. Football Daily was somewhat distracted by the preposterously large bananas on display during Jamie Redknapp's zoom call to Sky Sports News.
At his introductory press conference, Tuchel addressed the issue of his nationality, stating, 'I’m sorry, I just have a German passport.' He expressed his passion for the Premier League and England, hoping to convince those who oppose his appointment. When questioned about singing the national anthem, he responded diplomatically, acknowledging its emotional impact and his respect for the role and country.
Tuchel's appointment will not take effect until the new year, sparing him from any poppy-related controversies during the next international break. The interim coach, former Irish international Lee Carsley, will face the media's scrutiny during a game against the Republic of Ireland at Wembley.
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